Marrying an NRI ?

If you are a  prepearing for a marriage with an NRI there are certain things that you need to prepare for, especially if you are going abroad.

Language

Even though English is the international language, it isnot the official language in many countries. Learning anew language takes a significant amount of time, effortand practice. The social circle may get very limited onaccount of different culture and language and may leadto feelings of isolation. One should be mentally preparedfor that.

Food

Many people who move to a foreign land initially have difficulties adjusting to the availability of ethnic food. The number of stores and their accessibility vary depending on the place. This may lead to initial health problems and adjustments in food preferences.

Culture

Adjusting to a new culture takes time for different people.Venturing out into the world, to a certain extent, requiresthe ability to communicate and be open to new peopleand new ideas. This ability needs a willingness to let goof certain ideas that are irrelevant or counter-productive to one’s life in a new place. In other words, not being too conservative is helpful. All these possibilities should be borne in mind while making decisions regarding marriage to an overseas Indian.

Lifestyle

One’s attire does influence the way one is perceived, and therefore one’s interactions with other people. One may even feel uncomfortable wearing western outfits or socializing with foreigners hence one should be prepared to adapt to different dress and behavioral requirements depending on climate, social and professional environments.


Time Zone differences

Moving to a different part of the globe means being subject to sudden change in the time zone. A bigger challenge is to connect with relatives and friends in different countries. One needs to realise that they may not be able to have telephonic or online conversations with their kith and kin as and when they desire because of the time zone differences. This may result in psychological stress for some women, especially housewives/home-makers, who feel deprived of communication with their loved ones. Hence mentally be prepared.

Homesickness

Leaving one’s friends and family behind to travel to a distant place can be stressful. A person must be enterprisingand try to find things to keep themselves occupied withand learn new things. Not finding anything that interests the mind may make life in a different country very unexciting and constraining.

Climate

Large parts of countries such as the U.S. and Canada have harsh/depressing winters compared with the tropical/sunny climate of India. This not only is a challenge to one’s health, but also imposes restriction on lifestyle. During the severe cold weather, spending time outside one’s home is nearly impossible. Staying home for prolonged periods of time can result in boredom and feelings of isolation and depression.

Financial and Social preconceptions

One of the misconceptions about Indians living in foreign countries is that they are able to earn enormous amounts of money, relatively easily. This may not be the case always and one should be ready for a very high cost of living and long hours of work. Men and women interact differently in western cultures. Hence one must familiarize oneself with the nature of interpersonal relations in a foreign county to avoid feelings of insecurity.

Employment

As a foreign citizen, the ability to earn a livelihood islimited by the immigration rules. Depending on the type of visa, employment may or may not be permitted. Forexample, in the U.S., a student visa and a tourist/visitor visa do not provide the opportunity to take up a job. The categories of H-1 and J-1 are meant for employment. The spouses of Indians living in the U.S. often arrive hereon the basis of a dependent visa.

With the exception of aJ-2 visa (J-1 dependent), all other dependent visa holdersare not permitted to work. Attending an academic degree program requires a transition to an F-1, which takes time, money and admission to a program.

These conditions obviously hinder one’s economic and educational freedom. For a young person who had the freedom towork and earn a livelihood in one’s own country, being in a restrictive situation such as the above is likely to bequite disagreeable.

Medical facilities and health insurance

Most of the developed countries of the world areperceived to have excellent health-care facilities. While this may be true, access to such facilities is not easy or uniform across the population. Enrolment in an acceptable health insurance plan (most of which are usually expensive) is a necessity for seeking medical consultation and treatment. Visiting a doctor requires making an appointment, and few clinics/hospitals offer walk-in consultations, as is the norm in India. Many medicines that are available over-the-counter in India, are only available by prescription in other countries, which canonly be obtained from a licensed doctor (both require additional payment).


Take an informed decision

The difficult experience that are associated with all the above problems are a significant strain on any marital relationships, let alone a new one. A relatively painless transition into one’s new life is highly desirable for a marriage, while the lack there of can cause damage that is sometimes irreparable depending on the temperaments of the spouses. A failure to adjust to a new life and to be open-minded about new ideas can be a direct cause ofmarital strain; hence one must make an informed decision, taking future possibilities into account.


(Courtesy: Booklet by Ministry of Overseas Affairs)